I’ve been thinking about the future a lot lately. My third semester of grad school is drawing to a close, which means my final semester is about to begin. The big topic, and sure to get bigger, amongst us students is where will be after graduation. I have big plans over Christmas break of doing some serious resume preparation and job searches. I have been praying about where I should be for a couple of months now. To be honest I have not done much listening but more supplications and general “Lord lead me to where I need to be” and “I trust you with the future”. Just this weekend though I was challenged by the question of whether I am really opening myself up to what God wants me to do.
Phillip and I have already been making plans you see. We have felt at peace about moving back towards the Chester area. Perhaps this is God’s plan. Perhaps God desires us to rent a home somewhere near our family and friends and for me to find a job in the area. Perhaps God intends for us to buy a second car. Perhaps God even intends for us to get a dog and quit living vicariously through our friends. Perhaps.
I began reading a book over the holiday that challenged how easily I have fallen into planning our life down in Chester. We spent the holiday in NC with my grandma and uncle and aunt. The day after Thanksgiving we drove to the nearest town to engage in some Barnes and Noble goodness. While there I picked up a copy of Richard Stearn’s book “the hole in our gospel” (or something close to that) and began reading it. I have had a lot of respect for Mr. Stearns ever since hearing him speak at a Sojourners conference last spring. In the first few chapters he shares his personal story of arriving at World Vision as the CEO. What struck me was when he began talking about how as Christians so often we do not fully yield complete control of our lives to Christ. We ask him/her to use us…but just so long as we can continue to live as comfortably as we do right now.
Chester is for the most part comfortable to me. What I am realizing is that I have no right to comfort. God has a plan and that may include sending my resume to the other side of the country. I had to repent this weekend of not even entertaining the idea before.
And so I am thinking of the future. Wherever it may lead, whether here, DC, San Francisco, LA…I know I can trust that it will be the right place. It will be the place where my life can give Christ the most glory. I’m still learning that it is not my life anyways.