pbandj1011

waiting.

In Uncategorized on April 15, 2010 at 9:06 pm

Life is an interesting thing to live when you are waiting for much of it to change. That is where Phil and I are right now. We are waiting for my semester to be over. We are waiting to throw a big party. We are waiting for me to find a job. We are waiting to find out where we will be living come the beginning of August. We are waiting on whether Phil will find a new job or even look for one. So many other questions hang on these questions. Will we be able to afford the second car we will need? How much vacation time will I get starting a new job? Will going to Guatemala even be a possibility?

We do not have answers to any of these questions, but we are surrounded by reminders of the coming changes. Our apartment is being shown today to potential renters. Phil has been hard at work building us a portable garden that we can take with us in August. Friends and family make plans for the summer and ask us about joining them, but it is hard to commit because we do not know where we will be. I find myself trying to enjoy all my walks and bike rides through the city because before I know it, they will be gone. I have been cherishing walking down to my favorite restaurants to spend time on the patios with friends. When we go for a run down Monument I try to take it all in and not think of the hills I may be running on in the future, or worse yet the indoor treadmills.

The good in all this though is that it is supposed to happen. God has a plan and she/he is going to lead us in it. About two months or so ago, a man who I have never met prayed over me at church. He told me that it was time for me to walk into my calling, that God would open the doors wide and make the path clear. He told me to be encouraged. I am so thankful for his prayers and words. They have kept me going over the last months when uncertainty has threatened to overwhelm me. They have helped me be encouraged during this time and enjoy it for the adventure in trusting God that it is. They have helped me be thankful for the wonderful partner I have in Phil to experience it all with. They have helped me appreciate my family, friends, and church family more. They have challenged me to keep seeking God not for what the future holds, but simply for who she/he is. If God is taking care of it, then I certainly can spend my time talking to her about other important things.

So we wait. We trust. And we try to enjoy these glorious Spring days to their fullest.

For me this has meant trying to finish my school work ahead of schedule (not working out so far) so that I can be less stressed these last couple of weeks of school, reading a non-spiritual book (Reading Lolita in Tehran) because I can get into such a rut of spiritual books, without realizing that the spirit can be in every work of expression humans produce, going for runs (Phil and I are trying to up our running. our mileage goal for the week is 15 miles), eating good food- preferably outside with friends, learning and growing with Phil, Alex, and others as we facilitate a racial reconciliation group at the church, enjoying all the days I get to spend with my clients and coworkers- laughing when possible and crying when necessary.

It is good. I can scarcely comprehend how blessed my life is. I did nothing to deserve all this. I suppose none of us did.

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  1. I love this post:-) So much of our time is spent waiting on something. It’s so important to stop and just live for now. That’s all God asks us to do anyways. So why do we stress ourselevs out planning:-)

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