pbandj1011

Archive for January, 2011|Monthly archive page

in review.

In Uncategorized on January 19, 2011 at 7:58 am

So this post was supposed to happen a few weeks ago, before my life took a turn for the crazy…better late than never right?

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Bonfires, books, sleeping in, snow, movies, laughter, Christmas music, stories and then more stories around the tree, too many cookies…

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be still my (fast) beating heart.

In Uncategorized on January 17, 2011 at 10:10 pm

I am trying to slow down. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, every -ally. I have been practicing driving the speed limit, only five above, and even five below the other day (the fact that I got my first speeding ticket last Friday notwithstanding). Phil and I grabbed lunch last Saturday and on the wall of the restaurant was the line-

Nature never hurries, yet everything gets accomplished.

That is my goal. Stop hurrying. All I do is stress myself and others out, and get my heart rate up to levels that upset my chiropractor.

With that in mind I worked my entire work outfit today around the concept of how I could get away with wearing my pajama pants all day. Keep pants on, throw on dress, throw on short-sleeve sweater, throw on long sweater, throw on short sweater for coat, add scarf. Go, and take your time.

a hot mess.

In Uncategorized on January 11, 2011 at 10:11 am

Looking back at my last post either makes me laugh awkwardly or cry. I was excited for this year (and in my heart of hearts still am), but two days into 2011 had my lying on the kitchen floor crying, lying in my bed crying, sitting in Whole Foods crying, sitting at work crying (you get the idea) and a host of friends coming over to try to mop up some of my sadness (thank you all by the way, you are a wonderful family). So I’m a mess.  My life is a mess. My heart feels broken in several places. And my anxiety symptoms have reached all new proportions in messing up my life. So yeah…I’ve been struggling to post because I am currently residing in a dark cave. God is in here with me along with Phil and dear friends, but that doesn’t always make it easier. It just means I’m not dead.

So first goals for the year. “Tell yourself you will be okay(1,000x a day if necessary). Give your anxiety to God. Cry all you need to. Cancel appointments when needed. Don’t die.”