pbandj1011

a hot mess.

In Uncategorized on January 11, 2011 at 10:11 am

Looking back at my last post either makes me laugh awkwardly or cry. I was excited for this year (and in my heart of hearts still am), but two days into 2011 had my lying on the kitchen floor crying, lying in my bed crying, sitting in Whole Foods crying, sitting at work crying (you get the idea) and a host of friends coming over to try to mop up some of my sadness (thank you all by the way, you are a wonderful family). So I’m a mess.  My life is a mess. My heart feels broken in several places. And my anxiety symptoms have reached all new proportions in messing up my life. So yeah…I’ve been struggling to post because I am currently residing in a dark cave. God is in here with me along with Phil and dear friends, but that doesn’t always make it easier. It just means I’m not dead.

So first goals for the year. “Tell yourself you will be okay(1,000x a day if necessary). Give your anxiety to God. Cry all you need to. Cancel appointments when needed. Don’t die.”

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  1. Joy, hoping everything is okay. Praying for a light at the end of that dark cave. Love from all of us.

    Jessica

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